Internal Reflection: Caught between the Two

Wow it’s a new genesis, a new beginning, a new week. I understand that no two weeks, just like no two days are the same. Last week was definitely more of inner cultural reflection week for me. So you’re probably wondering what I mean. Well for me inner cultural reflections mean there were things that caused me to look at myself, look at my past, and revisit my history in a way I had not looked before.

This week I found myself wishing. I wished I could speak an African language. I wished I knew my African ancestors, my lineage. I wished I had opportunity to visit at least one country in Africa. I wished I knew how to cook some African dishes. I wish knew some African dances and had African name. I wished I had been exposed to more African people in America. The list of wishes could continue on. But I think my greatest wish was that I wish my culture, my heritage had not been stolen from me or lost in the lost in the Atlantic. One thing I find that many Americans say is that Africans (in general) come from poor country and that black Americans have it better in America. I will tell you one thing though some of them may be poor my in material wealth; they are rich in culture and spirit. That in many ways can make a lot of difference.

Really, what started for my inner reflection was my many conversations this week with Nigerians of the Yoruba tribe. Here some examples of what people said to me this week and my responses (the italics means I am on speaking):

- Where are you from?- I’m American. No, where in Africa? Oh well my father’s people are of the Mende people of Sierra Leone.
- (me talking ) What did you eat today? (person responds) I ate Nigerian food. Like what kind, what does it consist of it? You do not know it, it’s Nigerian, you don’t know.
- Try to talk with African accent. I cant.
- You are too Americanized. Excuse me what do you want me to be I am American, that were I was born, that’s I was raised. No I don’t have an accent, no I don’t speak an African language, no I can’t cook your countries food. No I don’t have African name. No I don’t know where all my ancestors are from. What do you expect, you are talking a Black American. I can’t help it that I was my roots were lost. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Here I will give you an African name.
- Have you been to Africa? No, not yet. Why not? Because of the costs and timing. It’s not that expensive to go. You can go in December with me, before you go back home. I can’t. It’s definitely something I would love to do one day soon though.
- Where are you from? The United States. Oh what Island? No I’m actually from the U.S. Oh okay you look Caribbean.
- I thought Americans were loud. You are pretty quiet.
- Where are you from? The States. But you are Black? hahaa. (me no response after that)

I’m sure some of you may be thinking what that’s crazy or Africans never like black Americans. But please don’t misjudge them. Many of them meant no harm by their questions or comments. Certainly there were some people well really just one person who was messy or tried to be funny, the Lord intervened and left me speechless with no comment when this happened. Despite misconceptions and the differences I still have love and admiration for African people as a whole and still enjoy hanging out with them while I am here.

Please don’t get me wrong I am proud to be Black American, but here has made me realize that I am missing something even if it’s just a small piece and that may be I should learn more about various African cultures. I imagine this how is how a lot of mixed (people of two races) feel. It's like you know for some white Americans they view black Americans as not being American enough. Then when you go around some Africans, they you are not African enough. Many people won't say this, but in a way at times you want to be accepted by both or at least one. You want to feel like you belong. In essence you are caught between the two

Today I thought to myself how the U.K. in a way is a best kept secret. People come from everywhere to see the attractions such Big Ben, London Bridge, the Queen’s Palace and many more. But the secret is the United Kingdom is more than tourists’ attractions or fish and chips. When you truly leave tourist’s stuff and begin to emerge yourself not only in the United Kingdom Culture, but in the multiculturalism of the environment itself. You see a glimpse of how wonderful and diverse the world is and ultimately it allows you to open up your eyes to a new genesis.

I feel like I may be inspired to write a poem soon. I will be sure to post it when I do.
This week quote of the week was inspired by my Cousin Dr. Koura, Skype status message. The quote is “ I have freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed more, if they knew they were slaves.” – Black Moses Harriet Tubman

Cheers,
Black Girl in Wales.